Comments on: Sleep: the Final Frontier http://www.choicywhiteboy.com/2006/03/sleep-the-final-frontier/ Man. Father. Geek. Husband. Gamer. Fri, 22 Jul 2011 21:34:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Choicy White Boy » Blog Archive » Monthly Newsletter — Month 6 http://www.choicywhiteboy.com/2006/03/sleep-the-final-frontier/comment-page-1/#comment-144 Choicy White Boy » Blog Archive » Monthly Newsletter — Month 6 Sun, 09 Apr 2006 18:30:41 +0000 http://www.choicywhiteboy.com/?p=277#comment-144 [...] Maybe all of this developmental progress has been helped by your sleeping. You still aren't getting the 14-15 that the books say you should be, but you've pretty much never been a textbook baby. However, you are, generally, sleeping through the night now. Last night's hour wakefulness between 3 and 4 AM has now, thankfully, become the exception rather than the rule. We usually start the ritual anywhere between 8:00 and 10:00 depending partly on our schedule, and partly on yours. When I write that down, it seems so irresponsible, and we should start it every night at 7:15 sharp or something, and maybe we should, but I'm sure that doing so would be tough on the whole household. Still, now that we've got you sleeping regularly between at least midnight and 6:00 AM, maybe we can begin to slide your night start-time earlier and earlier. While Mom and I still don't get as much sleep as we'd like, your extended night sleeping has wafted through the family like a cool breeze on a sweltering summer day. As if to make sure we knew you still weren't a textbook baby, and to add a small note of irony, you started this pattern 1) while you were sleeping in your pack-and-play in a hotel in New Jersey, and 2) just after we begged, begged, the Internet for help. [...] [...] Maybe all of this developmental progress has been helped by your sleeping. You still aren’t getting the 14-15 that the books say you should be, but you’ve pretty much never been a textbook baby. However, you are, generally, sleeping through the night now. Last night’s hour wakefulness between 3 and 4 AM has now, thankfully, become the exception rather than the rule. We usually start the ritual anywhere between 8:00 and 10:00 depending partly on our schedule, and partly on yours. When I write that down, it seems so irresponsible, and we should start it every night at 7:15 sharp or something, and maybe we should, but I’m sure that doing so would be tough on the whole household. Still, now that we’ve got you sleeping regularly between at least midnight and 6:00 AM, maybe we can begin to slide your night start-time earlier and earlier. While Mom and I still don’t get as much sleep as we’d like, your extended night sleeping has wafted through the family like a cool breeze on a sweltering summer day. As if to make sure we knew you still weren’t a textbook baby, and to add a small note of irony, you started this pattern 1) while you were sleeping in your pack-and-play in a hotel in New Jersey, and 2) just after we begged, begged, the Internet for help. [...]

]]> By: amanda http://www.choicywhiteboy.com/2006/03/sleep-the-final-frontier/comment-page-1/#comment-126 amanda Wed, 15 Mar 2006 02:11:41 +0000 http://www.choicywhiteboy.com/?p=277#comment-126 It is a tough one, isn't it?? Very hard to keep a sense of humor and your wits about you when you are tired and frustrated. Have you tried just laying her down in the crib when you get to the point in the routine that calls for it? Maybe she is overstimulated from all the carrying and rocking? Sounds counterintuitive but it's worth a try. If she cries, you can lay your hands on her and reassure her w/o picking her up. I spent many nights sitting with a hand thru the bars, and often even laying down and sleeping (on a cot mattress) next to the crib. It seemed better that we each had our own space. More of a desperation thing...the swing or a vibrating bouncy seat? (she may be too wiggly for the latter now). What would happen if you just take a week or two off and let happen what may, go about your evening routine as if it were any other time of day. Just give yourself that break from the carefully crafted bedtime routine and see what happens. Ultimately having that bedtime routine is key, but if you are too worn out by the whole thing, just give yourself a break from tackling this one head-on. It was *considerably* older than 5 mo that the bedtime routine was set in stone around here. Over a year, probably. Do you have Elizabeth Pantley's book, "The No Cry Sleep Solution"? She has some good ideas although as a whole package I'm not sure it works. My own personal thing would be to steer a moderate course, not taking the baby into the bed (too hard to end the habit, plus clearly it feels like playtime to her) and not letting her "cry it out" (doesn't work and is HORRIBLE to endure). Eventually something will give. It will! It really will! I know it doesn't feel like it now but you WILL get more sleep. Hang in there!! It is a tough one, isn’t it?? Very hard to keep a sense of humor and your wits about you when you are tired and frustrated. Have you tried just laying her down in the crib when you get to the point in the routine that calls for it? Maybe she is overstimulated from all the carrying and rocking? Sounds counterintuitive but it’s worth a try. If she cries, you can lay your hands on her and reassure her w/o picking her up. I spent many nights sitting with a hand thru the bars, and often even laying down and sleeping (on a cot mattress) next to the crib. It seemed better that we each had our own space. More of a desperation thing…the swing or a vibrating bouncy seat? (she may be too wiggly for the latter now).
What would happen if you just take a week or two off and let happen what may, go about your evening routine as if it were any other time of day. Just give yourself that break from the carefully crafted bedtime routine and see what happens. Ultimately having that bedtime routine is key, but if you are too worn out by the whole thing, just give yourself a break from tackling this one head-on. It was *considerably* older than 5 mo that the bedtime routine was set in stone around here. Over a year, probably. Do you have Elizabeth Pantley’s book, “The No Cry Sleep Solution”? She has some good ideas although as a whole package I’m not sure it works. My own personal thing would be to steer a moderate course, not taking the baby into the bed (too hard to end the habit, plus clearly it feels like playtime to her) and not letting her “cry it out” (doesn’t work and is HORRIBLE to endure). Eventually something will give. It will! It really will! I know it doesn’t feel like it now but you WILL get more sleep. Hang in there!!

]]> By: MyraD http://www.choicywhiteboy.com/2006/03/sleep-the-final-frontier/comment-page-1/#comment-125 MyraD Tue, 14 Mar 2006 19:36:46 +0000 http://www.choicywhiteboy.com/?p=277#comment-125 Hey Guys, I can vaguely remember the days and nights of seeking slumber while my babies were young. I am sorry that I don't have any great advice for you... Just encouragement: All of my children (ranging in age from 5 to 15) now sleep all night by themselves and I simply read them a book, say prayers and kiss them good night. I can't say that the routine came early.....but it did come. My children always shared Mark and I's bed until the next child was born. When they were about 2 years old they would move into thier own bed to make way for the new baby (my oldest was about 5 when this happened to him, the rest about 2). They seemed ready at that time for a nice peaceful routine... Then it was time to stay up all evening w/ the newest one. It was helpful for me to re-frame the situation: I saw that as my special time to be with the new baby, ...... all of the other children were sleeping and it was one on one time for me, mark and the baby. (Not so applicable with an only baby, I admit) Continue to follow what feels right and if it doesn't feel right, then it isn't right for you guys. Peace! Myra Hey Guys,

I can vaguely remember the days and nights of seeking slumber while my babies were young. I am sorry that I don’t have any great advice for you… Just encouragement: All of my children (ranging in age from 5 to 15) now sleep all night by themselves and I simply read them a book, say prayers and kiss them good night. I can’t say that the routine came early…..but it did come. My children always shared Mark and I’s bed until the next child was born. When they were about 2 years old they would move into thier own bed to make way for the new baby (my oldest was about 5 when this happened to him, the rest about 2). They seemed ready at that time for a nice peaceful routine… Then it was time to stay up all evening w/ the newest one. It was helpful for me to re-frame the situation: I saw that as my special time to be with the new baby, …… all of the other children were sleeping and it was one on one time for me, mark and the baby. (Not so applicable with an only baby, I admit)

Continue to follow what feels right and if it doesn’t feel right, then it isn’t right for you guys.

Peace!
Myra

]]> By: AC http://www.choicywhiteboy.com/2006/03/sleep-the-final-frontier/comment-page-1/#comment-124 AC Mon, 13 Mar 2006 20:46:08 +0000 http://www.choicywhiteboy.com/?p=277#comment-124 Thanks, Allen! That didn't sound preachy at all. It's good to hear. Thanks, Allen! That didn’t sound preachy at all. It’s good to hear.

]]> By: Allen http://www.choicywhiteboy.com/2006/03/sleep-the-final-frontier/comment-page-1/#comment-123 Allen Mon, 13 Mar 2006 18:08:54 +0000 http://www.choicywhiteboy.com/?p=277#comment-123 AC, We relied on some methodology from the "On Becoming Baby Wise" book. They seemed to work well. Overall, as with any book with its methodologies, we always let our intuition, discretion, and common sense prevail over any strict code, yet the basic principles we found useful were: 1) get on a schedule based on the child's natural schedule 2) teach the child to put themselves to sleep. We used some sleep aids such as pacifiers which become a pain when you try to wean them off the device... but we tried to avoid rocking the baby to sleep, feeding the baby to sleep, etc... since this sometimes becomes the required sleep aid. We basically adopted the cycle of eat, play, sleep. It helped keep the child from becoming dependent on food to fall asleep, and it also helped make sure the baby got enough food to eat (instead of falling asleep at mealtime). We liked rituals too. We read stories every night. We used music too (World Music for Little Ears was one of our favorites). When the baby woke-up crying and it was time to sleep, we would pick him/her up, console to a calm state, and then put them back to bed. Sometimes we went through this up & down many times during a night... but the basic idea was that crying is not a way to escape from the crib. It was like, "we love you, but it's time for bed." Eventually, our kids realized that while they could get our attention, love, and reassurance, it was still going to be time for bed. If they wanted the former, they could get it on demand. If they wanted to end bedtime, crying was not the way to do it, it was more of a futile effort. Like I said, we used our discretion. IF it was bed time and not feeding time, but the kid wouldn't go back to sleep, or he/she acted hungry... it became mealtime. Our kids went through several growth spurts, approximately every 3 months. During these spurts, the schedule changed a bit. Getting the child to sleep through the night was one of our top priorities. I remember when our first child learned to put the pacifier back into his mouth... what a wonderful moment. We heard the cry as he woke, but before we got to his room, he had put himslef back to sleep. Neither of us had to walk to his room and comfort him (or feign an attempt to go to his room hoping the other parent would beat you to the task). I don't want to sound preachy, but you asked. I'm sure there are many good answers to this question. This is the one that worked for us. Hope this helps. Good Luck, -Allen AC,

We relied on some methodology from the “On Becoming Baby Wise” book. They seemed to work well. Overall, as with any book with its methodologies, we always let our intuition, discretion, and common sense prevail over any strict code, yet the basic principles we found useful were:
1) get on a schedule based on the child’s natural schedule
2) teach the child to put themselves to sleep. We used some sleep aids such as pacifiers which become a pain when you try to wean them off the device… but we tried to avoid rocking the baby to sleep, feeding the baby to sleep, etc… since this sometimes becomes the required sleep aid.

We basically adopted the cycle of eat, play, sleep. It helped keep the child from becoming dependent on food to fall asleep, and it also helped make sure the baby got enough food to eat (instead of falling asleep at mealtime).

We liked rituals too. We read stories every night. We used music too (World Music for Little Ears was one of our favorites).

When the baby woke-up crying and it was time to sleep, we would pick him/her up, console to a calm state, and then put them back to bed. Sometimes we went through this up & down many times during a night… but the basic idea was that crying is not a way to escape from the crib. It was like, “we love you, but it’s time for bed.” Eventually, our kids realized that while they could get our attention, love, and reassurance, it was still going to be time for bed. If they wanted the former, they could get it on demand. If they wanted to end bedtime, crying was not the way to do it, it was more of a futile effort.

Like I said, we used our discretion. IF it was bed time and not feeding time, but the kid wouldn’t go back to sleep, or he/she acted hungry… it became mealtime. Our kids went through several growth spurts, approximately every 3 months. During these spurts, the schedule changed a bit.

Getting the child to sleep through the night was one of our top priorities. I remember when our first child learned to put the pacifier back into his mouth… what a wonderful moment. We heard the cry as he woke, but before we got to his room, he had put himslef back to sleep. Neither of us had to walk to his room and comfort him (or feign an attempt to go to his room hoping the other parent would beat you to the task).

I don’t want to sound preachy, but you asked. I’m sure there are many good answers to this question. This is the one that worked for us. Hope this helps.

Good Luck,
-Allen

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